The New Hire Said, "That's A Woman's Work, I Don't Do Women's Work," And 29 Other People Who Were Fired On Their Literal First Day On The Job

I think we can all agree that one of the small joys in life is hearing other people's workplace drama. There's truly nothing that breaks up the monotony of doing the same thing every day on the job quite like a little tea, right? Well, Redditor u/ Psychosien posed an excellent question to r/AskReddit , and people did not hesitate to share the drama. They asked, "Do you know someone who got fired on their first day? What did they do?" Here are 30 of the most unhinged stories people shared:

Note: Submissions have also been sourced from this similar thread.

1. "I fired a guy who showed up four hours late on his first day. I was working at a moving company at the time. When he showed up, he asked if he still got paid for the job, since the bill included four people and we did the job with three. I told him to walk home and not to bother showing up the next day."

— zazameman

2. "I worked in a pizzeria, and there was a new driver starting. When he came back from his first delivery, there were no other orders for him to take. So, I told him that in between, he would have to do dishes and clean. He replied, 'That's a woman's work, I don't do women's work.' And.....you're fired."

— Oneironaut3

3. "My friend was hired, but the next day, the company announced layoffs. Of course, he was the first to go. He got lucky, though, because, for one reason or another, they had to continue paying him for the next two months, even though he only worked a total of two days. Halfway into those two months, he found a better job."

— ball_gag3

4. "I work in a college town and we hired a new part-timer to work reception. On her first day, she casually mentioned to us that her wealthy parents wanted her to experience what it's like to 'struggle,' so she had to work this job and use the city busses for two months. Then, they said she could quit and they'd give her allowance back and get her a new car."

5. "A new kid around 19 or 20 came in (warehouse job), went out to buy weed during his lunch break, and got busted. As it turned out, he had a warrant out for him, so he went to jail. Then, he had the audacity to call us to bail him out because he lived with his grandmother, and she would be upset."

— SummerEvening

6. "A 16-year-old kid was fired during his first day of training because he came in wearing a shirt that just said 'BITCH' across the front in giant letters. I mean, I know we have a casual dress code, but..."

— EricTheBread

7. "I managed a smoothie place for a while and hired this kid for mornings. His first day, he was two hours late. He apologized, saying he was tripping on shrooms and got lost on the way to work. He also took 15 smoke breaks in the four hours that he worked. When his shift was over, I told him not to come back."

— jblantonbaby

8. "At orientation, they told the 12 of us that we were the best and the brightest of 900 or so interviews they'd conducted. We got our access badges and our corporate Amex cards. Well, one of the 'best and the brightest' went to a high-end men's clothing store on his lunch hour and purchased $4,000 worth of suits, ties, and shoes. He came back from lunch and bragged of his exploits. He was fired on the spot. He actually thought his Amex card was a job perk. And yes, he did have the nerve to ask, 'Can I at least keep the clothes?'"

9. "I worked at a gas station a while back. I helped train this new guy. He was really nice, we all liked him. After his first solo shift, he walked away with $150 out of the register. Didn't even try to cover it up or anything. Everybody was shocked. WTF did he think was gonna happen?"

— lo-key-glass

10. "When I was 17, I got a job at Chuck E. Cheese. I worked the front door, and once an hour, I had to put on the Chucky costume and parade around the place. Here's the deal with those. Kids are dicks. They kept constantly running up to me and hugging me, then punching me in the crotch. After about five hours of this, I'd had enough. I purposely didn't attach the head of the costume to the body. It was supposed to button into place. After the twentieth or so time being nut-checked, I'd had enough. I backed up, did a stupid little dance, grabbed my headpiece, and slowly began to twist it around my head."

"The kids started to freak. Some screamed, some cried. Parents started protesting. The older kids started laughing. The attendant who was with me fell down in laughter. I thought it was hilarious, however the restaurant manager who hired me didn't think it was that funny. I got ushered out the back door and banned from that particular Chuck E. Cheese. Do I think it was worth it? Hell yes, I do."

— anonymous

11. "I got fired on my first day. The reason? His best mate just lost his job, so he fired me and hired him instead."

— jubileo5

12. "I was a pizza delivery guy at a family-owned Italian restaurant. They brought a guy in to help make pizzas. Two hours into his training, he started talking about wanting to bang the waitresses. The waitresses were the daughters of the owner. The guy teaching him how to make the pizzas was the older brother. He was physically ejected from the building."

13. "A high school friend of mine was hired at a pet shop. He got high during his lunch break, came back, and had some kind of epiphany. He took a look at the iguanas, lizards, rats, and whatnot in their cages and decided that it wasn't right for them to live like that. Rather, he felt they should be set free to live in the wild where they belonged. So, he got them loose and let them free 'in the wild,' which was actually the streets of very urban Montreal. He got fired when the manager realized what he had done. The manager was unfortunately absent at the time of my friend's courageous liberation. Most of the animals probably died and got run over."

— shadyperson

14. "I applied for a job in the kitchen of a restaurant. There was no application, just a walk-in interview. I showed up to work a couple of days later, and the chef started giving me a tour of the kitchen. 'Alright, you ready to make some omelets?' he asked. Uh, sure...you gonna show me? I thought. He looked at me, paused, and started laughing. I nervously laughed. As it turned out, the manager called the wrong person. She got me mixed up with the guy who had five years of experience and called me by mistake."

— anonymous

15. "This happened when I was working at McDonalds. New guy came in and when he saw that we were trashing patties if they had been sitting too long, he ate one...then he started just eating them from the supply...dude must have inhaled 10-12 patties over a couple hours after repeatedly being told to stop. Eventually, he started making himself a burger with the buns and eating it as well. Got fired first day on the job. I'm still convinced he had no real plans of working and just wanted to see how many free burgers he could eat before getting canned.

— PotatoLatkes

16. "I got hired through a temp service to work at the local phone company. It was no problem, as I had done tons of telemarketing before and figured it would be working on the billing/customer service end. Nope. The first day, they had me on the phone with linemen who were up a telephone pole somewhere halfway across the country, asking me which wire to cut. I had NO clue what I was doing and had a mini-meltdown talking to my supervisor. She asked me how I could possibly not know what I was doing when I had clearly passed the test to get the job. My response was, 'What test????'. Turned out that the temp agency was supposed to give any and all applicants a test to see if they had the experience necessary to do the job. I got a call from the temp agency telling me I was fired before I got home that day."

17. "It was the morning of her second day, and she was visiting one of our production sites. She thought her work day was starting too early, so she called down to the local leadership team to say she'd be in that afternoon, if at all. She was on the next flight home instead."

— rednail64

18. "I went in for my first day. Executives from the company were apparently at the building, talking to my manager, who was going to get me going right after their meeting. I found out within five minutes of 'starting' that the company got bought out, and we were all fired. I went through drug tests and interviews for nothing. Fuck that place."

— Ssoldier1121

19. "When I was in college, I got a job at one of those 'Paint Your Own Pottery' places. They told me they'd train me on my first day. When I showed up, there was a birthday party underway with 15 8-year-olds. I didn't get any training and ended up fucking up a couple of kids' pottery items on accident. The rest of the staff were really friendly to me but seemed a bit culty. At the end of the shift, it was a pretty mutual 'Thanks but no thanks' situation. Yet, the boss still felt the need to call me the next day to tell me just how much the other workers didn't like me. It was strange and petty."

— anonymous

20. "My company hired temps for a big job. We didn't have a lot of space, so temps had to double up in cubicles. I did feel very bad for them, but some of their actions were hilarious and frankly terrible. The guy who got fired was chugging along with his task and his cubemate was sneezing or talking or something. Basically, she was making some noise. His reaction? To slap her. He was escorted out of the building. The next day, he showed up to work again as if nothing happened. He was escorted back out and told to please not return."

21. "A super hot girl was hired at the Dick's Sporting Goods I worked at. She started at 10 a.m. and was fired at 2:30 p.m. that same day, along with a guy, for banging in the stock room. They both left with smiles on their faces."

— anonymous

22. "I had a seizure while serving someone at a new restaurant. It was my first of a three-day trial period. Needless to say, they never called me back."

— anonymous

23. "I used to work at a factory that made foodstuff. The guy I was trained with fell into a big vat of wet ingredients that was about to be heated up. Had I not looked behind me, he would've died in there. The boss went to the hospital to tell him he was fired, but that they were giving him some extra pay in his check."

— anonymous

24. "I had to fire a janitor on day one because someone spilled a cup of coffee, and he stared them directly in the eyes and yelled, 'Fuck you!' at the top of his lungs. He threatened to kill me after he was fired and stood outside of our workplace with a bouquet of flowers until we called the police on more than one occasion."

— ca990

25. "Someone who was hired for my design job before me apparently just sat there (probably quietly panicking) for half of their first day and then left at lunchtime. As it turned out, they couldn't actually use any of the software they claimed they could and just didn't do anything. Lots of design jobs give you a little software test first, but not all of them."

26. "I worked for a logistics company that specialized in transport computers. The guy left the depot on his first day, made his first delivery, went to the petrol station to fill up, left the keys in the cab when he went to pay, and returned to nothing more than an empty parking spot and bad work references."

— anonymous

27. "It was me and another guy's second day. He got fired for a dispute. We were on the move and he was left hours away from where we started. I voiced my concern for leaving this kid hundreds of miles from known civilization and was also fired. It was a good time. Never got paid for the first day and a half, either."

— qualityproduct

28. "I had a buddy get hired as a valet downtown. On his first day, he was asked to park a pretty expensive luxury car and ended up running it into one of the concrete pillars in the parking garage. Pretty much got fired on the spot."

— havemursey

29. "I got hired as an 'independent contractor' for some over-the-phone tech work. The hours were 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. OK, that's perfect. I went in and got acquainted, then started taking calls. Hours went by, and I began wondering when I got a lunch break. News flash: there was no lunch and no breaks. Independent contractor or not, I was pretty sure that in the U.S., you have to give people some breaks and lunchtime at some point during a 10-hour shift. So, I told my new boss I was starving, so I was going to get something to eat, and I'd be back in an hour. He said if I leave, I shouldn't bother coming back. So, I left. And never went back."

— anonymous

30. And finally, "They called me and told me I was let go for not showing up on my first day. Which was a surprise for me since at no point after the interview had I been told that I'd been hired."

— deftss

Have you ever witnessed someone get fired on their first day? Has it ever happened to you? If so, tell us what happened in the comments below or via this anonymous form .

Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.