Husband Serves Wife With Terms & Conditions For Football Season & This All Sounds Completely Reasonable

It’s about that time.

We’ve made it through another long offseason, and football is right around the corner.

I mean sure, it technically already started from the weather-shortened Hall of Fame Game last week between the Chicago Bears and the Houston Texans. And the NFL preseason kicks off this Thursday with matchups between the Detroit Lions and the New York Giants, as well as the Carolina Panthers and New England Patriots.

But the real games don’t start until the first college football games kick off on August 24, followed by the NFL regular season on September 5.

So if you need to have any conversations with your significant other to make sure they’re ok with losing you for 4 months, you’ve still got some time.

Football season is actually the #1 cause of divorce in the United States. Ok not really, I just made that up. But it’s definitely the source of some conflict between husbands and wives, especially if you’re not lucky enough to have a partner who’s as into football as you are.

But many husbands are pumped to spend the next 4 months on the couch watching football all weekend…although the wives don’t always appreciate that.

It’s probably best to have that conversation now though, and one husband wanted to make sure that he and his wife were clear on the expectations for the upcoming football season. So he served her with papers to lay out the rules for both parties.

In a video posted by the wife, Haven Nation, read through the “contract” that was presented to her by her husband, Hunter, which laid out his reasoning for getting things in writing:

“Football season is a wonderful time. We’re blessed with a limited number of Saturdays and Sundays filled with college and NFL football games.

Because they’re limited, we must take full advantage in maximizing our watch time, drink and food intake, and flat out entertainment.”

Preach.

Now, Hunter’s a smart guy, because in the contract he refers to himself as “the Fan” and his wife as “the Boss.” Seems like it’ll be easier to get her to sign on the dotted line that way.

But he then proceeds to lay out the terms and conditions “in which the Fan shall be permitted to watch football games without causing undue disruption to the Boss’s activities, household peace and general sanity.”

The contract lays out the football viewing hours, which include 11 AM to 11 PM (or when the last game ends) on Saturdays, 12 PM to 11 PM (or when the last game ends) on Sundays, and of course Mondays and Thursdays from 8-11. But he also made sure to include a clause for special events – like the playoffs, the Super Bowl, or “any other game involving the fan’s favorite team.”

He then goes on to lay out his own obligations, including Chore Compliance:

“The Fan agrees to complete all assigned chores before the commencement of any football game. This includes, but is not limited to, taking out the trash, doing the dishes, and any other task designated by the Boss.”

And in return for completing his chores, the husband added a Non-Interruption Agreement:

“The Boss agrees to limit interruptions during critical game moments, including but not limited to the final two minutes of each half, overtime periods, and any play involving a potential scoring drive.”

(Doesn’t every play involve a potential scoring drive? Ol’ Hunter might have snuck one by the wife there).

Then we get into the important stuff: The Snack Provision Clause.

“The Fan is responsible for ensuring that reasonable amounts of snacks and beverages are available.”

And of course, what happens when the wife has something she wants the husband to attend on a fall Saturday afternoon? Well that’s addressed in the Event Scheduling and Attendance Clause – which the wife admits is what inspired the agreement after one of her friends attempted to schedule a couple’s game night on the opening night of college football season. (Why did the friend’s husband agree to that in the first place? Terrible move).

“The Boss agrees to not schedule any non-emergency events or activities during the designated football viewing hours as stated in Article 2, Section 1. In case of unavoidable emergencies or pre-existing commitments, the Fan agrees to attend and fully participate with the understanding that highlights and replays can be watched later.”

I mean, we all know that watching a replay later isn’t the same as sweating it out in real time, but hey, you’ve got to compromise when you’re married.

The whole contract sounds pretty reasonable to me, and the husband’s willing to make some concessions to protect not only his ability to watch football for 2 straight days every weekend over the next 4 months, but also to preserve the peace and happiness in his marriage.

Smart man.

If you haven’t already, there’s still time to get that contract drafted before football starts.

@havenpresley I- I have no word #husbandwife #husband #husbandsoftiktok #funny #jokes #footballseason #football #marriagehumor #marriage ♬ original sound – Haven Presley