My 9-Year-Old Just Schooled Me on Why Netflix’s #3 Movie Makes Zero Sense

When you become a parent , your world changes and you learn to tap into feelings you never knew existed: immense love, persistent worry, near-constant frustration. And, of course, the deep joy mixed with cringe-inducing nostalgia (and a little bit of sexual excitement—more on that in a minute) that is seeing any one of the three Trolls movies.

As a refresher: Trolls was released in 2016 as a silver-platter offering for millennials to view with their children. It brought to life the Troll dolls of our childhood, who now sang sped-up medley versions of our favorite early aughts hits and were played by Anna Kendrick and, oh yeah, Justin Timberlake . (Is it weird to be attracted to a Troll? It’s weird to be attracted to a Troll.) The animation was creative and textural and the plot…was something to do with oafish “Bergens” who ate Trolls and everybody learning to live in harmony.

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Fast forward to 2020, when were treated to Trolls: World Tour (a title which, incidentally, prompted me to hire a speech pathologist for my child who couldn’t pronounce the letter “R”). This one was also about harmony, though in the context of different musical genres learning to coexist. It is undoubtedly the weakest of the franchise, not least because we have to hear a frenetic mashup that features George Clinton, Sam Rockwell and Icona Pop.

And finally, last year, we got Trolls Band Together , a reuniting-the-boy-band-for-a-cause romp that not only added star talent like Andrew Rannells and Amy Schumer to the mix, but also brought in Timberlake’s former NSYNC bandmates for a brand new No Strings Attached caliber song. (It’s called “Better Place,” and if you haven’t heard it, please stop reading and do so immediately .)

I saw the movie in the theater with my kids when it was released over Thanksgiving, and they’ve had it on several times since it debuted on Netflix this July—quickly becoming the number-three-streamed film on the platform `. With each viewing, I find the vibe adorable, the music catchy and the plot forgettable. But only recently did my 9-year-old alert me to the fact that, beyond forgettability, there’s also a major Trolls 3 plot hole.

Hear me out: In Trolls 1 , we learn that the reason Branch (Timberlake) is so grumpy is because he was traumatized by the death (via Bergen-eating) of his grandmother, Grandma Rosiepuff, when he was five years old. In fact, he was so despondent, he vowed to never sing again.

And yet, in Trolls Band Together , we learn that he did fact sing again! As my son pointed out, after Branch’s first band Bro-Zone disbanded, he joined a second band called Kismet, this one with the aforementioned NSYNC singers . The Bro-Zone timing makes sense: singing under the moniker “Bitty B,” Branch was ostensibly a baby at this point, so before witnessing his grandmother die when he was five. But things get murkier when you consider Kismet, which appears to be a band that he was in when he was older than a kindergartener. Did he join this band between the events of Trolls and Trolls World Tour ? Did he quit Bro-Zone while in diapers, join a second boy band (this time as a heartthrob), and then renounce singing? Did he actually sing a little bit in between grandma-dying and meeting Poppy?

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As with most things in the Trolls universe, it’s best if you don’t think too much about it, and instead let the fuzzy landscape and innocuous pop wash over you. I’m not here for these movies to make sense. I’m here because they’re better than Kung Fu Panda 4.

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