It starts at home. You came into your family, and went through your life the way you did for a reason. Those are the lessons you are here to learn about.
Usually, we naturally behave like our parents and strongest influences. You can notice it in the ways you speak as an example; you probably pronounce certain words like your parents. You probably have similar reactions and expressions with your colleagues, or whoever you spend the most time with. Etc.
Is it “bad”? Not at all. It has its practical uses; that’s how we’re able to communicate and relate to one another as a species.
Anyhow. This means that the person we are today is a mix of all these different influences.
Let’s have an example now.
If we have a lazy father, one who would rather watch TV all day long while criticizing others as a hobby; we may not be as critical with others as he is, but, we may notice that we have some form of laziness when it comes to pursuing our dreams. Like our lazy father, who probably gave up the idea of making his dreams happen, we may also feel a bit powerless to do the same thing.
There is a reason we have been born in such a family. You can think of us as particles that are created in the image and likeness of their “parents.” We are sent to those parents/circumstances to learn our life lessons. Unfortunately however, most don’t. And instead, go on to perpetuate the cycle.
And that’s when this “mechanism” becomes a problem.
In order for us to grow as a person, we must overcome the limiting beliefs we have inherited from our influences. Let’s remember that we take those beliefs in in subtle ways; subconsciously. And unless we become aware of them, they rule our lives and we call it fate, to paraphrase Carl Jung.
Now when it comes to setting boundaries; the best way is to become aware of your limiting beliefs first. You can use different tools such as:
Journaling: this tool helps you get more in touch with yourself. As you write down your thoughts; magic happens. Those things you weren’t able to articulate flow through your hand and finally find a “way out.” Through your hand, yes. Write using a pen; it creates a better connection between your thoughts and the material world
Meditation: Becoming aware of your thoughts and emotions will reveal your psychological makeup. Meditation will help you be more mindful in your life so that you observe/learn about the roots of your beliefs
Daily cleansing: People are always bombarding us with their energies. Make sure to take walks in Nature, send gratitude to Life/Creation/God, receive direct sunlight to take an energetic “bath”
Note: The tools above are general ones and can be used by anybody wishing to get in touch with their inner realms; giving more developed tools requires a personal approach which we can’t have through a question/answer format.
In the long run, as you become more familiar with your limiting beliefs, and start releasing them — naturally, you won’t feel the pull/pressure to believe in those anymore because you understood their roots, processed their underlying emotions, and embraced a healthier approach to living.
If you used to believe in revenge whenever you were hurt by someone as an example; and through your own work, you released the belief in revenge and embraced forgiveness instead — whenever someone comes by and speaks about revenge, it won’t interest you much anymore.
You’re on a different wavelength so to say.
Try it with movies. They’re full of “3D” limiting beliefs.
I hope this answer answered your questions. Let me know if I can be of any more assistance.
Spirituality doesn’t need to be complicated. Dealing with emotional and mental wounds requires already enough attention and energy. If you need practical ways to heal, but also practical teachings to make sense of all the confusing spiritual information the world throws at you; I wrote a book called Spiritual Transition to help you progress on your path. You can give the book a look here.
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