On Turning 70 Years Old

Turning 70 feels profoundly different for writer Donna Brody than her previous landmark birthdays. She reflects on the birthday and on the observations it elicits.

“How terribly strange to be 70.” That line from the Simon and Garfunkel song “Old Friends/Bookends” has been running through my mind for the last several months. But, as the actual milestone birthday is in sight in just days, the volume seems to have gotten louder.

I remember being happy, scared, and a little disappointed when I turned 50. More than half my life was over, and I was not sure I was exactly where I wanted to be. But, I shook it off and continued to focus on my spouse and four teenage and 20-something children and my career in higher education. My 50s were a whirl of college graduations, weddings, and first grandchildren.

I celebrated my 65th birthday at Disney World surrounded by my children and grandchildren. Now that was a birthday! I was already retired from full-time teaching. A move to a new house in a new state was something my husband and I had looked forward to and were enjoying, leaving behind Midwestern winters for milder temperatures and ocean breezes in North Carolina. Now there was more time to travel with girlfriends and other couples and focus on those seven grandkids. Lots of good memories in my 60s.

Seventy feels different, though. It is still scary knowing that probably two-thirds of my time on the planet has passed. In recent years, I have said final good-byes to family members and friends and watched others cope with serious and painful illnesses. My precious grandchildren are still delightful, but they are growing up so fast. I know I should be happy they are thriving, but it is hard not to miss those infant and toddler moments.

As I step into my next decade, I can’t help but to reflect once again on where I am now, how things are going, and what is surprisingly different than I expected. These random observations are in no particular order.

Five observations on turning 70

1. My spouse and I still argue

I guess I always thought by the time we reached our 70s, my husband and I would have nothing left to fight about. Not true. Just like the earlier years of our marriage, we still know how to push each other’s buttons and say and do things that end in arguments. Having less patience as we age doesn’t help. Sometimes feelings are hurt and silent treatment ensues. Yet, after a few days, often without even talking, we let those feelings go and pick up where we left off. In the end, his is the only hand I want to be holding onto when we face any crisis.

2. Letting go of my children

My children are BIG KIDS NOW. Three of the four are in their 40s. Three also have spouses and children of their own. I have to realize they are old enough to make their own way in the world without asking for my help or approval. I don’t have to like or agree with their decisions, but I have to respect that they need to make them for themselves. Losing my appetite or sleep because my children have problems is not good for me physically or mentally. I need to allow them to be the capable adults they already are.

3. Friends grow more precious with time

Those 11 high school girls I have known for more than 50 years are truly a gift in my life. The girls’ trips and evening get-togethers saved my sanity many times over the years and still do. (We are off to Lake Tahoe soon!) Work friends, neighborhood friends, and friends I met through my husband all have special places in my memories too. Thanks to social media, I can remain in touch with people with whom I shared great times in the past.

Related: A positive attitude on aging has a positive effect!

Excerpt from “SuperAging: Getting Older Without Getting Old“

4. Family is still family

I wrote a piece once about how your siblings are your longest relationships in life – longer than parents or a spouse. Siblings also assign other siblings roles like “the smart one,” “the baby,” or “the oldest in charge.” It is hard to outgrow these roles even though we should have moved on long ago. Although I may not be as close to my siblings as I once was, I appreciate that they are my family and I still need them in my life.

5. Grandchildren are a blessing

There is nothing negative I can say about being a grandmother. It is a gift that is difficult to appreciate until it happens. Each child is different and you develop a unique relationship with each one. They are always totally honest. My grandson Jack recently told me, “No offense, Grandma, but sometimes you forget things.” But, it doesn’t matter, they still love you anyway. And, that relationship is one you will never have with any other person. Cherish it.

Now, on to my 70s!

The post On Turning 70 Years Old appeared first on Seniors Guide .