Voices: Chappell Roan is right – stalking is not normal and should not be part of the job

Chappell Roan, for me, is the sound of 2024. After 10 years in the industry, she’s seen a sudden meteoric rise to fame, and – in my humble opinion – is truly a Femininominon .

However, a few days ago, she released something else that set the Internet ablaze. Not new music, but two TikToks voicing her exasperation at the entitlement of certain fans who assume they know her because they know her music, expect her to drop everything to make time for them, and cross boundaries that should not be crossed.

Some people got very mad at her, saying she shouldn’t be mean to fans whose support put her where she is right now. But me? As someone who has gone through the tiniest amount of what Chappell has ? I totally empathise with her. I’m 100 per cent on Chappell’s side.

To be clear, I’m nowhere near as famous as Chappell Roan . My day job is as a gaming YouTuber. I write and present comedy videos about video games, do gaming livestreams, and occasionally play some Dungeons and Dragons . I’m in the area of “Internet Famous” where I can go for weeks without getting recognised in public, but if I’m advertised as being at an event I will one hundred per cent get stopped and occasionally a queue will form.

As a smaller creator than Chappell, when I do get stopped in public, it’s usually a nice surprise interaction for both me and the fan. When people queue up for a meet and greet, it blows my mind. I’ve had some truly heartwarming moments with fans who I normally only get to see as numbers on a screen or text in a comments section.

However, I cannot imagine how drained Chappell must feel having so many strangers constantly demanding her time and attention. I’m tired after one meet and greet session with my incredibly polite fanbase – I can’t imagine what it would be like if people were screaming at me every time I stepped outside.

But one thing I don’t have to imagine is the problem of fans overstepping boundaries into abuse, harassment and stalking.

Sometimes it’s fans being upset that I don’t reply to every message they send me. Sometimes it’s fans hugging me and creepily whispering in my ear that they love me (prompting me to pretend to look for something under a nearby table and not come back out, because I didn’t want to meet anyone else after that). Sometimes, I have to get the police involved because those messages become constant, hateful and threatening , or complete strangers turn up to public events I am at, acting like we actually know each other.

Parasocial relationships like this – one-sided relationships between creators and their fans – have been talked about constantly in the YouTube space. It feels like every few years, creators have to remind fans of this weird dynamic – usually after yet another person has misunderstood a parasocial relationship for a real one. For many creators with any kind of following, it will be the words in Chappell’s second TikTok that resonate the most:

“I don’t care that abuse and harassment, stalking, whatever, is a normal thing to people who are […] famous or a little famous or whatever.”

”I don’t care that this crazy type of behaviour comes along with the job, the career field I’ve chosen – that does not make it okay.”

People often think that the price of any amount of fame is having to give up the freedom to just walk around like anyone else – that you have to stop and be nice to everyone who says hi because otherwise you’re ungrateful. That it’s part of the job.

It isn’t part of the job. It’s a whole second job that you didn’t ask for, don’t get paid for, and usually just costs you money – whether that be for security, or to lost work as you stop everything to deal with people who don’t understand the word “no”.

I spend hours on multiple documents of evidence that I collect for the police. I sit for hours giving police statements. I put together PDFs for events, to warn them of multiple people not to let in for my safety. I don’t get paid for any of that. When stalkers and harassers pop up, my work-life balance is destroyed, as is my ability to do the actual job I do get paid for.

Chappell Roan gets paid to make music for us. She can’t do that if everyone is screaming for her to pay attention to them, or stalking her and her family. Just enjoy the music she’s made, and if you ever see her in real life, understand if she might just be too tired to stop for a photo.

Ellen Rose is a full-time video creator on YouTube. You can find her talking about gaming on Outside Xtra , playing D&D on Oxventure , or just sharing her opinions on her personal channel, icklenellierose