Look around the room at Hélène Darroze at The Connaught and you will see a lot of people squinting. Some are leaning forward. Others are clasping their hands. A few are nodding at a plate of unidentifiable gloop. In the corner, there’s someone dissecting what purports to be a langoustine with a spoon while an animated waiter speaking at x6 speed looks on. This is a fairly typical scene for a much-lauded, starry, French fine dining restaurant in Mayfair. But that doesn’t mean it’s good.
Any restaurant inside The Connaught hotel has to adhere to some formalities, but this neutral room has the suffocating atmosphere of several anniversaries that should have ended in divorce—rather than a rum baba—some time ago. That said, its staff are impeccable and every lone man (assumedly post-settlement) sitting eating tandoori lobster and drinking Château d'Yquem by the glass seems cheery. If this restaurant has a crowd, then it’s those who have too much time and money on their hands.
video credit: Jake Missing
photo credit: Jake Missing
London has plenty of exciting fine dining options and this isn’t one of them. The five-course tasting menu will set you back over £200 and, while the food here is by no means bad, nothing is particularly memorable either. A combination of almond butter and langoustine is easily left unfinished. The signature lobster is enjoyable, but overpowered by sweet carrot purée and a sugary tandoori sauce. A lone, gorgeously tender ox tongue with chimichurri tries its best to raise this tasting menu—but a tongue will flop by nature. Ultimately, no variety of micro herbs and lilac flowers can distract from the fact that Hélène Darroze at The Connaught is, at its heart, an expensive and unremarkable hotel restaurant.
Food Rundown
video credit: Jake Missing
Langoustine
When an ingredient is as good as the langoustine, it rarely needs much. Sadly this buttery crustacean has been lost between a cold fruit chutney, inexplicable almond butter, and slices of peach.
Lobster
This is the most famous thing on the menu and it’s pretty enjoyable, if a little sweet. The lobster tail is mercifully served whole and untampered with and the tandoori—almost of a fish and chip shop variety—works well with it. The carrot purée is pretty forgettable but the rest is good.
photo credit: Jake Missing
Lamb
It’s unfortunate to meet this lamb amidst an identity crisis as, in another life, it could be pleasant. Does it want or need a wasabi cream with it? Is the violet artichoke improved by a bush of citrussy and overpowering micro herbs on top? We’ll leave those questions as rhetorical.
NONE
1-5
6s
7s
8s
9s
Below a 5.9, you’re starting to have some problems. Something is actively wrong and you’ll probably be disappointed.
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