The Strawberry Letter: His Daughter Gets Better Gifts Than I Do

Dear Steve and Shirley,

I'm a wife and a bonus mom to two teenagers, and my husband has a good co-parenting relationship with his ex-wife. His 14-year-old son lives with us, while his 17-year-old daughter lives with her mother.

She turned 17 on July 30th, and that's what prompted me to write in for your opinion. My husband told me we were buying his daughter a car for her birthday, but he didn't mention that it would be a car better than both of ours. It's a sporty coupe with too much horsepower for a teenager. He defended his decision by saying she didn't get a car for her 16th birthday like her friends did.

When he took me to the dealership to pick up the car, I thought I was getting pranked, thinking the car was for me. Instead, he made me drive his old car back home because he didn't want any damage on his "princess's" car. I cried all the way home.

I'm jealous and hurt that he seems to value his daughter more than he values me. It's always been like this. Every Valentine's Day, he gives her a teddy bear and some kind of jewelry, while all I get is a card and dinner—sometimes, not even a card. For Christmas, she gets everything on her list, and we can't afford her lifestyle. I'm tired of paying credit card bills.

Her mom called me to discuss the car. She thinks it's inappropriate too and mentioned that my husband might be trying to buy their daughter's love because she knew about his infidelity. She also told me that their daughter knows I was the side chick for years. I never looked at it that way.

Is this punishment for me because I helped end his marriage, or is this a typical daddy-daughter bond that's unbreakable? Please advise.