The Strawberry Letter: He’s Afraid of The Competition

Dear Steve and Shirley,

I'm 37 years old and dating a man who's 35. We met online, and things have been going really well for us. It's been a year, but we've made the long-distance thing work. He does a great job of coming to see me, and he's flown me out a few times for the weekend.

Our biggest problem is our sex drives. He is over the top, and now that I'm getting it regularly, I want it all the time. He uses explicit videos, and I use my toys. He sends me pics of himself, but I'm too scared to do that because of my job.

He had never seen my toys until recently. He wanted to see what's taking his place when he's not around. I reached under my pillow to pull out Chocolate Thunder. He gasped, and I couldn't stop laughing. He said it's not a laughing matter and that I need to go get a check-up immediately. I could not stop laughing. I put it away, and we went to dinner. The entire night, he was worried about the toy I showed him and said there's no way possible that I use that. I was still tickled, thinking he was playing.

We were intimate a lot before he left. When I drove him to the airport, he confessed that he hid my Chocolate from me. He said he can't measure up to Mr. Chocolate and that I didn't need to be using that while he's gone. I begged him to tell me where he put it, but he wouldn't. He was not laughing at all. He is seriously afraid of competition, not knowing the woman's anatomy at all. I assured him that he's more than enough for me and that I'm happy with him. He said that I better not order another Mr. Chocolate.

How can we possibly be arguing over a gadget? Is this normal in a new relationship, or is it a red flag that he's insecure?