The Strawberry Letter: My Boyfriend Can’t Tolerate Much

Dear Steve and Shirley,

I'm a 27-year-old female, and I just got out of a 10-year relationship that was going nowhere. Now, I'm dating a 29-year-old man who pursued me for a few years. He was there for me after my breakup, so I got used to him being around. I want to get your advice before I fall for the wrong man again.

He works as a manager of two movie theaters and runs his mobile detailing business on the side. He's also a really good cook, but I can't get him to cook anything spicy. That's red flag number one because I'm from the South, and we love a little heat in our food. I can deal with him not liking spicy foods, but there are some other things I love that he hates. He says he cannot tolerate scary movies, roller coasters, water slides, bugs, or cold air conditioning. I am not an overly adventurous person, but I do like to live a little, and I like for my house to be cold.

He's constantly swatting away small flying bugs, and he accidentally swiped me across the nose really hard. I don't get it. Even when we're intimate, it's a problem. He's really robotic and likes to call me a take-charge kind of woman, but I don't want to be in control in the bedroom. He says he likes to see what I can do, but heck, I want to see what he can do. He has the right tools to excel at it, but for some reason, he's holding back. He told me that he prefers to keep his pace, but it's too slow for me. I am so sick of hearing about things he doesn't like. There are things I don't like, but I compromise with him.

My picking skills are bad, so please help me. Is it best to keep an open mind and compromise to keep him happy, or is it time to put this man in the friend zone?