Parents Turn Loss Into Hope With ‘A Game for Aidan’

TOMS RIVER – Aidan Inteso’s story is one that is painful to tell, but one that his parents share with a mix of grief and purpose.

A 2020 Toms River High School East graduate, Aidan Michael Inteso was just beginning his journey at Ursinus College when he suddenly felt unwell. What seemed like a cold or flu quickly turned tragic. Aidan collapsed in his dorm room and, despite immediate efforts by his roommate and emergency responders, he never regained consciousness.

Aidan was just 18 years old when he died on September 13, 2020.

“He’d had a sports physical just weeks before he went away to college,” said Michael Inteso, Aidan’s father. “But insurance companies do not pay for simple ultrasounds of the heart as part of a standard physical. An ultrasound might have detected Aidan’s enlarged heart if it existed three weeks prior, which is basically what he died from.”

Myocarditis, an inflammation of the heart muscle, claimed Aidan’s life. A recent article published in World Journal of Emergency Medicine advocates for the use of ultrasounds to determine the condition because cases are often undetected. Michael can’t help but wonder if Aidan could have been saved if the imaging was part of a standard physical for athletes. No one knows when the disease process began.

Aidan was a vibrant young man with a bright future. In high school, he was a four-year varsity defenseman and captain of the hockey team. He also played for the Toms River Blackhawks for over ten seasons, leading the team as captain in his final years.

However, Aidan’s talents didn’t just stop there. He was the recipient of a full academic scholarship that recognized his commitment to his studies as well.

“As much as he loved sports and was a talented athlete, Aiden knew that education was his ticket to life,” Michael shared. “He was incredibly interested in statistics and wanted to be a data scientist.”

Making Today Better Than Yesterday

Aidan was one of those lucky survivors of divorce whose parents worked together and never made him feel torn. His mom Cheri Revoir, and his father and stepmother, Michael Inteso and April Shinn-Inteso, were just part of the family who showered him with love. His death also created an incredible void for his younger brother Nathan.

Michael recalled the outpouring of support from friends and even the local community after learning about Aidan’s passing. Everyone felt so helpless and just wanted to do something.

“Within the first day, people were trying to donate money to us,” said Michael. “Cheri and I and my wife were taken aback. We certainly didn’t want money from our child passing away.”

Almost immediately, the family started a bank account for a foundation that did not yet exist. The donations quickly added up to nearly $60,000.

In the midst of their grief, Aidan’s parents decided to turn their tragedy into a force for good. They established the Aidan Inteso Memorial Scholarship Fund and began organizing an annual memorial hockey game, “A Game for Aidan,” to honor his legacy.

The foundation quickly grew, raising significant funds through community donations. The family donated $100,000 to Ursinus College, establishing a scholarship in Aidan’s name that will support students in perpetuity. Preference is given to students from Toms River, reflecting Aidan’s roots and connection to his hometown.

Michael also credited the president of Ursinus College for helping the family through the grief process. He also said that she was very involved in memorializing Aidan with a tree on the campus and dedication to him.

In addition to the scholarship at Ursinus College, the foundation provides scholarships for students at High School East and athletes in the Toms River Blackhawks hockey program.

“We donate everything that anybody’s ever given to us in Aidan’s name back to the community,” Michael explained. “That’s our mission statement.”

A Game For Aidan

The annual “A Game for Aidan” event, held at the Winding River Skating Center, has become a cherished tradition. The event includes memorial hockey games, a fair-like atmosphere with a DJ, and various activities for all ages. This year’s event was the fourth and most successful yet, drawing around 500 attendees and raising over $40,000.

“It’s an amazing outpouring of support with people just having a great time,” Michael said. “It’s no longer a memorial – it’s a celebration of Aidan’s life.”

As Aidan’s peers turn 22, many use their shared past as a springboard for reunions, marking the bittersweet transition to different paths in life.

“They look forward to this thing,” added Michael. “They come to play hockey with their friends that they haven’t seen in the last year – and then everybody goes their own way.”

The funds raised continue to support scholarships as Aidan understood the value of education. Michael said his son had such a positive attitude about life that the foundation has adopted a “Be Better” mantra.

Aidan himself is remembered for asking “How are you better today than you were yesterday?”

The dream of earning a college degree was granted to Aidan post-mortem. This spring, Aidan received an honorary degree from Ursinus College.

As the foundation continues to grow, Michael said the family would like to bring awareness to myocarditis, potentially saving other young athletes.

“The ache of what will never be is definitely always there,” said Michael. “It doesn’t get any easier talking about him.”

For more information, and to donate to the cause, visit aidanintesofoundation.com/.