“Hawk Tuah Girl” Haliey Welch Throws Out 1st Pitch At New York Mets Game

Showing no signs of bedroom fatigue from her dominant right arm, Hawk Tuah Girl Haliey Welch continued her improbable rocket ship trajectory to celebrity status as Thursday’s special guest first pitch thrower for the New York Mets at Citi Field.

It wouldn’t surprise me if Welch had some sort of softball background, because she actually throws something of a strike here. The first pitch organizers might’ve gone too easy on her. I think she could’ve gotten it almost all the way to home plate. Instead, she opted for a rather short toss, as the catcher barely touched the dirt around home plate.

I think I speak for all of America when I say we’ve had more than enough of our fill with Hawk Tuah Girl at this point. Between that weird podcast with Bill Maher, the Rolling Stone feature that egregiously labeled her “Gen Z Dolly Parton” and her silence-inducing cameos at various public events, Welch has been ubiquitous since that street interview of hers exploded across the Internet.

The talent agency who signed Welch and is enthusiastic about developing her own reality TV show must have quite the vision. Sure feels as if we’re already straining to tolerate her relevance. It’s not so much a reflection of who Welch is as a person or personality as much as it is widespread confusion as to why exactly she continues to be in the spotlight. That management team of hers is nevertheless pressing on and getting her high-profile gigs such as a first pitch at a Mets game.

As of yesterday, Welch was getting some work in, training in the martial art of Muay Thai.

I mean sure, why not? I feel like at this rate Welch could just go around doing the most random sh*t ever and a bazillion people will tune in. Good work if you can get it. And against all odds, Hawk Tuah Girl keeps getting it.

So I guess we’ll be seeing a lot more of her around…