Do they just give you Screen Actors Guild cards when you move to Los Angeles or do you have to earn them? Because Jim Harbaugh put on a masterful performance in front of the media this past Monday afternoon, and whether by way of osmosis or as the result of some high-level instruction, the former “Michigan man” put on quite a show in a town known for just that.
The Los Angeles Chargers head football coach and former Wolverine leader again sternly denied his involvement in the University of Michigan’s sign-stealing scandal in the wake of last weekend’s announcement that new Wolverines head coach and assistant under Harbaugh, Sherrone Moore, was one of seven staffers from Michigan’s 2023 national championship team accused of violating NCAA rules.
Moore is alleged to have deleted 52 text messages with former Michigan analyst Connor Stalions on the same day last October that media reports identified Stalions as the man behind an illegal off-field sign-stealing operation.
The latest report from the NCAA’s investigation is further evidence that the sign-stealing scheme in fact existed, and any denials to the contrary would suggest that Stalions resigned for no reason, multiple assistant coaches left or lost their jobs during or after the season for what apparently wasn’t happening, and the NCAA is fabricating both Level-I and Level-II violations against the university’s football program for kicks and giggles.
Now, I’m not suggesting the NCAA and its process for investigating anything is the standard by which we should all strive to meet or exceed, for everyone upright and with a pulse knows that not to be true. They’ve proven for years to be a clown show of epic proportions when it comes to litigating the rules they seem to arbitrarily enforce, but despite their historical ineptitude, fabricating evidence and information is not on their rap sheet of crimes against humanity.
But what I am suggesting is that there’s enough smoke around this investigation to warrant at the very least an acknowledgement of the tiniest fire, and I’m asserting that I don’t believe there’s a world that exists in which Harbaugh didn’t have an inkling of what was going on.
The coach however will and in fact did adamantly suggest otherwise in his press conference Monday morning, and he did so with a fervor reminiscent of Col. Nathan R. Jessup played brilliantly by Jack Nicholson in the film “A Few Good Men.”
He prefaced his denial with a faux admission of guilt, then dramatically turned his back on that burgeoning confession with a denial of guilt altogether.
“Never lie. Never cheat. Never steal. I was raised with that lesson,” he said at a brief news conference, appearing to read from a prepared statement, but doing so in one take. “I have raised my family on that lesson. I have preached that lesson to the teams that I have coached. No one is perfect. If you stumble, you apologize and you make it right. Today, I do not apologize. I did not participate, was not aware nor complicit in those said allegations.”
It was impressive, and to the untrained eye a delivery worthy of the lead in your local high school play. But as I watched him deliver his carefully scripted diatribe, I couldn’t help but think he was a crafty interrogation away from his own Col. Jessup moment.
“You hatched the sign-stealing idea, constructed the plan, implemented the gameday procedure, and when it went bad you cut those guys loose,” the fictitious interrogator said. “You orchestrated Stalions’ resignation, stonewalled the NCAA, directed Moore and others to delete all past communications with the low-level assistant, and now I’m asking you, did you order the sign-stealing?”
“You want answers?” Harbaugh fictitiously said.
“I want the truth!” the fictitious interrogator responded.
“You can’t handle the truth!” Harbaugh fictitiously loudly and angrily responded back.
Okay, maybe I’ve taken it a bit far, but Harbaugh and Jessup seem to have a lot in common: Irrational confidence, stubbornness, and a level of arrogance that — at least in their mind — puts them above the law.
Jim Harbaugh is a taskmaster. A coach that while having a reputation as a “player’s coach,” leads his team and program like a dictator with every button at his disposal. With that in mind, I’m supposed to believe that something so well-orchestrated and with seemingly upwards of a dozen staffers involved flew completely beneath his radar? C’mon.
He may not have ordered it.
He may not have even wanted to know how it was being executed.
Yet, you can’t convince me he was completely in the dark as to what Stalions, Moore, and the other assistants and interns implicated had cooking. He’s not that guy, and he’s definitely not that coach — but maybe he is that good of an actor.
What do you think?
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