Fox, ESPN turning games into pointless talk shows

Ladies and gentleman, may I have your fully divided attention!

Thank you. … Reader G. Wilbur asks a good, though self-dating question: “When did MLB telecasts become ‘The David Susskind Show’?”

“The David Susskind Show” was an interview program seen throughout the 1960s and 1970s on Ch. 11 then Ch. 5. It featured long, pensive questions followed by forgot-the-question answers.

This past Saturday, Yankees at Red Sox on Fox , made for the wildest second inning we might’ve ever seen — had we been allowed to watch it rather than an interview show.

Each team scored — the Yanks once, Boston twice. There was a leaping catch of what became a home run when it was dropped as the right fielder fell into the stands. A runner was picked off third for failure to pay attention while talking to a coach. There was a double-steal, a double play, four hits and a leaping catch at the left-field wall.

Yet, on Fox, the entire inning — 17 minutes — was sacrificed to an in-booth interview with Matt Damon and Casey Affleck to promote their new movie coming soon on Apple TV+. Yep, more baseball lost to streaming.

As Adam Amin and John Smoltz asked forced and meandering questions, Boston’s Ceddanne Rafaela, inexplicably standing a foot off the bag chatting with the third base coach, was tagged out to complete an insane center field-to-second to-third double play.

But not only did Fox miss the entire thing, it had no idea what had happened. The interview continued until finally, with Rafalea headed to the dugout, Amin thought he’d caught up with game:

“We’re actually getting word that they ruled the runner, Rafaela, out at third base.” Word ? He’s getting word? Where is he, Yennenville?

“Oh,” Smoltz said, “they might have pulled the old ‘hidden ball’ on him.”

Amin: “Oh man, we got distracted in here. We were having such a good time. And all of a sudden they stuck in the old Little League move.”

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Bad guesses about what just happened from yards away from where it just happened. And if had Fox had been showing the game rather than the actors in the booth, we all would have seen that after Trent Grisham made a shoes-high catch in center, he ran the ball back toward the infield, threw to Gleyber Torres who threw to Oswaldo Cabrera who tagged out an oblivious Rafaela.

We’ll never see such a play again, yet Fox, for no good reason, chose to completely miss it the first time — for all of us.

Damon and Affleck got it. They knew they’d become intrusive. One next said, “Aw, we’re ruining your broadcast.”

Amin: “No you’re not. It’s more fun this way!”

Smoltz: “You don’t see that very often.” But we didn’t see it at all!

And Amin continued to call it “a Little League play.”

No, a 12-year-old would have stood on third while looking away to talk to a coach. It was another fundamentally negligent big league play, both by Rafela and third base coach Kyle Hudson, lost from view to Fox’s fundamentally negligent production.

The next night, Yanks-Red Sox on ESPN. Boston first baseman Romy Gonzalez, normally a third and second baseman, was at risk as he was playing first — while attached to a live microphone. It was his turn to play ESPN’s “Look what we can do!” while asking what’s-your-favorite-color? questions.

Baseball fans are able to distinguish smart from stupid, thus they can’t figure out why ESPN, the nation’s self-anointed all-sports network, relentlessly sells us stupid.

Gonzalez was asked if he’d shave off his mustache if traded to the Yanks, who haven’t allowed facial hair since George Steinbrenner ruled.

But, as several readers noted, Nestor Cortes and Austin have mustaches — they’re right there, see? — as did Thurman Munson and Don Mattingly. And it was Gonzalez who told the ESPN booth that the Yanks allow mustaches.

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With two strikes on the batter, Gonzalez reached into a back pocket to pull a card. He read it, moved a few feet, then replaced it. Take it reader Chris Dellecese:

“Do you think anyone in ESPN’s booth thought to ask, ‘What did you just read?’ to maybe glean some insight for us to consider? Of course, not.”

Reader Tony Savoia: “I don’t even talk to my wife, sitting next to me, until commercial breaks.”

Other than the usual bad coaching or no coaching from YES’ shot-callers, I can’t figure why Joe Girardi wants to be heard as Fox’s John Smoltz, examining every pitch and swing until we no longer hear him.

Tuesday, after hitting two homers at Philly , Jazz Chisolm Jr. batted in the ninth with the Yankees up a run. When applause was heard, Girardi said it was a matter of appreciation that “he’s getting a little cheer from the Phillies fans.”

He sounded serious. But not a chance. In Philly, where he managed the Phils? Not a chance. Those were plainly seen and heard as Yankees fans.

Apparently, the curveball has been eliminated from MLB. Before the start of last Saturday’s Yanks-Red Sox, Fox listed the kinds of pitches thrown by Boston starter Kutter Crawford, including “20 percent sweepers.” No curveballs were listed, as if he doesn’t throw a curveball, only “sweepers,” which were invented last season.

Reader Bob Dahat figures that Pete Alonso will soon switch to “OMFG!” And all those SNY shots of fans in Citi Field dressed as Grimace have quickly grown tired and unamusing.

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After Luke Weaver threw a total of seven pitches to make 1-2-3 work of the Phillies on Tuesday, Aaron Boone pulled him for closer Clay Holmes, who blew the lead. That’s the trouble with Boone and most script-addicted MLB managers: They think all their assigned closers, even if for just two or three games until they name the next one, are Mariano Rivera.

Wednesday, after DJ LeMahieu’s grand slam was delayed to examine if it cleared the wall, Michael Kay, taking a good shot at himself as LeMahieu crossed the plate, said, “Finally, I can say, ‘See ya!’ ”

On the subject of anarchy, the NFL’s new kickoff rules should only take three or four seasons for players, coaches and fans to learn.

Not sure why SNY last week twice chose to show the same passed out Citi Field patron, empty booze cans in front of him, but that’s what it did. Charming Sunday afternoon game scene.

Again, if NYRA TV and Fox/FS1’s engaging and giving thoroughbred analyst Rich Migliore had been an NFL QB rather than an accomplished jockey, he’d be known as the best analyst in the country.

Reader Joe Napoloeone suggests that biological male vs. women Olympic boxing — exceedingly brutal and conspicuous mismatches — should be renamed Domestic Violence.

Gotta go. My virus has gone viral.

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