Broadway comes to the small stage

I looked like a deer in headlights!

When all the other cast members from our senior class musical – Hello, Dolly! – looked in my direction during the infamous courtroom scene, this accomplished thespian was mortified to think that I missed the cue for my one and only bit part in the uproarious dramedy.

Unfortunately for me, I discovered the terrible blunder which actually belonged to one of my fellow actors a little too late; and I missed my one and only opportunity to be in the spotlight.

On opening night of the renowned Broadway production, I was sitting in the court clerk’s chair next to the judge’s bench pretending to type on a stenograph while patiently waiting for my prompt from one of the show’s male leads – Bruce Thalmann – who was portraying Cornelius Hackle.

But he forgot his line; so, I never heard the signal.

All eyes were on me as I stopped fiddling with my shorthand machine long enough to realize a dead silence about the stage; after which, I locked eyes with my blond-haired friend who was desperately attempting to obtain my attention without being too obvious.

Shortly after comprehending what had occurred, I started to say my line, “It happened right after ‘It only takes a moment;’” but before I could get the words out of my mouth, the orchestra began playing the next song to cover up the ill-timed mistake.

I was totally crushed!

Not only was my one and only snippet of dialogue in the elaborate production muffled by a musical interlude, but my entire family – including my maternal grandparents – was sitting in the audience; so, they never even heard what I had to say.

Even though the three generations of my close-knit family wouldn’t be there to hear it, I had two more opportunities during the three-night extravaganza to nail my line, thereby ensuring that everyone heard the very phrase which led to one of the biggest songs in the musical.

With that in mind, I studied all of Bruce’s dialogue which he was supposed to recite prior to my one and only bit part; because I fully intended to be prepared in the unlikely event that his mind went blank yet again.

My minor role was indeed a smashing success for the remainder of the limited run production; and we all know that it would only take one positive theater review for me to become the next Jerry Lewis.

The senior class musical was always the highlight of the school year!

Ever since entering the seventh grade, I absolutely loved going to the annual event at the Lincoln High School auditorium each and every spring.

As a matter of fact, I had attended every single musical – The King and I, Oklahoma, South Pacific, Guys and Dolls and West Side Story – up to that point; and now I was actually going to take an active role in Hello, Dolly!

Without question, it was one of the most unforgettable experiences of my life!

Although the annual event didn’t take place until the first weekend in April, we kicked off our practices for the extracurricular activity following Christmas vacation by watching the 1969 movie made famous by Barbra Streisand and Walter Matthau in the school’s music department.

This high school senior especially enjoyed spending time outside of class with some of my boon companions such as Robert “Robbie” Brough, Steve Grossman, – who regrettably dropped out – Robert “Mags” Magnifico and Bruce Thalmann; because it was the perfect opportunity to make memories which would last a lifetime.

While our practice schedule was quite demanding at times, we somehow managed to find the time to learn every single song in the theater production’s repertoire without the aid of sheet music as well as finish all our homework and study for exams.

Things soon kicked into high gear once our scheduled practice sessions were relocated to the high school auditorium where we participated in full walk-throughs of the musical.

Prior to the three-night presentation, we had a dress rehearsal complete with greasepaint and costumes.

Using one of the newly renovated seventh grade classrooms, we quickly changed into period costumes befitting the 1890s before racing down the hall past the girl’s gymnasium to have our make-up done by a group of would-be professionals.

Other than my minor speaking part, I thoroughly enjoyed the role of a dancing waiter at the elegant “Harmonia Gardens” restaurant where this blue-eyed brownie had the unique privilege of greeting Lorrin Vessella – who portrayed Dolly Levi – when she entered the restaurant with great fanfare; and I even improvised by planting a peck on her hand for an added touch of panache.

To make the production even more memorable, Cynthia Pertile – our incomparable director – added a special segment to the sophisticated scene by having me ride in on a dessert cart.

Apparently, the pair of servers pushing me across the theater stage had more brawn than brain; because the confectionery wagon snagged a power cord while making our exit behind the curtain causing me to catapult into a brick wall.

It was quite reminiscent of an earlier rehearsal when my buddies pulled the very same stunt!

Luckily, I shook the cobwebs from my head before racing down the steps and around the corner to change for the next scene.

In addition to all the other production nuances, our senior class musical was the first to have its very own orchestra pit which was created by a circular runway that stretched into the first row of seating where my family sat on opening night.

Along with all the other townsfolk, I was required to walk out onto that catwalk during the final musical number; and Pappy Farrell was ready for me to topple headlong into the audience due to my balance problem.

Fortunately, everything went off without a hitch; and I was still standing at the end of the evening.

I wiped the nervous perspiration from my brow after that close call!