My ‘selfish’ hubby didn’t check on me once or help with our kids on a long-haul flight – and everyone says it’s my fault

TRAVELLING can be stressful, especially if you have got the little ones with you.

From getting through security without any issues, to boarding the plane and then keeping them occupied on flight, preparation is key.

But what helps ease the pressure is if you are travelling with your partner or another adult as they can help out where needed.

However, one mum feels she got let down by her husband after they were both travelling on a long-haul flight with both of their children aged one and three.

She revealed that he left her to look after the kids on the flight and didn’t “move from his seat once.”

The mum, who took to Mumsnet to shared her situation, revealed she was fuming because of the situation she was left in.

She said that when they boarded the plane, it turned out that their seats “were not together.”

The mum, who is anonymous, continued: “My husband was on his own at the back and I had two seats, one for me and my one-year-old son on my lap and one for my three-year-old.

“When we sat down, I said [to my husband] ‘don't worry I'll be fine. Let's see how it goes, maybe we can swap. Come and see us when we are up there.’

“He did not move from his seat once. I saw him go to the toilet. But not once did he come up to our row, ask how we are or take one of the children.

“I was furious.”

She then went on to ask other Mumsnet users if she was “being unreasonable” for making her point.

However, not everyone agrees with her and some think she is being unreasonable.

One wrote: “You are being unreasonable for a few reasons.

“Firstly for not pre-booking your seats. What if they'd all have been separate, you'd have had to ask people who'd paid for their selection to move.

“For making a martyr of yourself. Why didn't you just say that you'd have the toddler next to you and he could have the baby with him?

He did not move from his seat once. I saw him go to the toilet. But not once did he come up to our row, ask how we are or take one of the children

“For getting angry about it but not bothering to ask him. If you couldn't get to him, a steward would have helped.”

Another added: “You knew before you got on that your seats were not together. Even if, as others said, he booked it, it should still have been a conversation you had before you got on the plane.

“No way would I have accepted this. I would have done one adult one child.

“And if he thought he was getting away with no responsibility for the whole flight I would have asked a member of staff to go and get him if I couldn't attract his attention myself.”

But in defence, the anonymous mum replied: “I reserved the seats but it was too late to get seats together. I assumed we'd be swapping.

“The kids can be pretty clingy with me, especially when we are somewhere different.

Not a good sign

“However he could have come up and talked to us and seen how we were.

“The lady sitting next to me was also appalled by his behaviour.

“She was twice divorced herself and was like ' this is not a good sign '. ' you deserve better '.

“It was funny at the end when he made an appearance the lady looked him up and down and gave him the dirtiest look.”

But someone else got involved by asking: “Why did you say it was okay if it wasn’t?

“Why did you martyr yourself and have both kids?”

Others were confused as to why she didn’t check the seating arrangement before she left.

No way would I have accepted this. I would have done one adult one child

One said: “Did you not check the seating arrangements before you left?

“Did you, or DH (Darling Husband) not ensure you were seated together when you did the online check-in?

“If your DH booked seats, perhaps this was no coincidence. After all, he got the best deal. No responsibility for the entire flight

“I would be having a word with him. You should be incandescent.”

But not everyone was against her, as many thought her husband was in the wrong.

One wrote: “He has just shown you how much he respects you and how much he cares about you, or his kids.

Different parenting techniques

Here are some widely recognised methods:

Authoritative Parenting

This technique will often foster independence, self-discipline, and high self-esteem in children.

It is often considered the most effective, this technique is where parents set clear expectations - enforcing rules - whilst also showing warmth and support.

Authoritarian Parenting

This is opposite to authoritative parenting, as it is where the parent sets high demands but is low on responsiveness.

It involves ensuring the child is obedient and often employ punitive measures. While this can lead to disciplined behaviour, it may also result in lower self-esteem and social skills in children.

Permissive Parenting

Permissive parents tend to be indulgent and lenient, often taking on a role more akin to a friend than an authority figure. They are highly responsive but lack demandingness, granting children a lot of freedom. This method can nurture creativity and a free-spirited nature but may also result in poor self-regulation and difficulties with authority.

Uninvolved Parenting

Uninvolved or neglectful parenting is marked by low responsiveness and low demands. Parents in this category offer minimal guidance, nurturing, or attention. This often leaves children feeling neglected, which can have significant negative effects on their emotional and social development.

Helicopter Parenting

Helicopter parents are extremely involved and overprotective, frequently micromanaging their children’s lives. Although their goal is to protect and support, this approach can hinder a child's ability to develop independence and problem-solving skills.

Free-Range Parenting

Free-range parenting encourages children to explore and learn from their surroundings with minimal parental interference. This method promotes independence and resilience but requires a safe and supportive environment to be successful.

Attachment Parenting

According to Marriage.com, Attachment parenting focuses on physical closeness and emotional bonding, often through practices such as co-sleeping and baby-wearing. This approach aims to create secure attachments and emotional well-being, but demands significant time and emotional commitment from parents.

Each of these parenting techniques has its own set of strengths and weaknesses. The key is to find a balanced approach that aligns with the family's values and meets the child's needs for a healthy, happy upbringing.

“Selfish through and through.

“I wouldn’t let this go. I presume you’ll make him have his kids on the return journey?”

A second added: “I'd be angry, even if not offering to take one of the children, not coming to speak to you all.”

A third wrote: “I would be soo annoyed. You should have had a child each!!!!! How unfair.”

Whilst someone else thoroughly expressed their thoughts, by saying: “He's an idiot but I think your first response didn't help, you said you would be OK, why even offer that up, you should have said you'll do the first two hours for example then he can do the final and you'd swap on the way back.

“Also, how did you not know your seats weren't together? Presuming you didn't pay to reserve seats so got a random allocation but you would have known this at check in.”